Stop Apologizing for the Ask: Lessons from Henri Nouwen

Stop Apologizing for the Ask: Lessons from Henri Nouwen

From Abundant Vision Fundraising Podcast by THOMAS DAUBER

May 11, 2026 · 24 min · Season 1 · Episode 86

About this episode

Tom Dauber discusses Henri Nouwen's insights on reframing the ask in fundraising, emphasizing that it is not begging and addressing the anxiety fundraisers often feel.

Early in his career, a colleague looked at Tom Dauber's resume and said: "I guess you won't be able to scare people with the threat of hell anymore, will you?" Tom didn't have a response. He just absorbed it. Years later, he found the words he wished he'd had -- in a 60-page book by a Catholic priest named Henri Nouwen. In this episode, Tom walks through the ideas in A Spirituality of Fundraising that reframe the ask entirely. Whether or not faith is your framework, Nouwen's core argument applies: fundraising is the opposite of begging, your anxiety is your biggest obstacle, and the fundraiser who walks in needing the gift has already lost the room. This one is for any fundraiser who has ever felt embarrassed to ask. Looking for fundraising coaching? Check out www.abundantvision.net [http://www.abundantvision.net/] Buy Nouwen's Fundraising Classic Here…

People in this episode

Host: Tom Dauber

Topics covered

  • fundraising
  • anxiety
  • spirituality
  • non-profit
  • asking for donations

Keywords

  • fundraising
  • Henri Nouwen
  • spirituality
  • non-profit
  • asking
  • anxiety
  • donations

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: A Spirituality of Fundraising

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