The Cat is Trying to Kill Me (and Other Domestic Hazards)

The Cat is Trying to Kill Me (and Other Domestic Hazards)

From Carl Vs Reality by Carl Guyton

January 18, 2026 · 11 min · Season 1 · Episode 11

About this episode

Carl discusses the challenges of domestic life with his cat Biscuit and the reactions to his new appearance at work.

Reality is a construct of perception. Carl is a construct of coffee and bad life choices. Here they meet in Carl versus Reality . Salutations! Today, you’ve caught me mid-chore. I’m doing the washing up, so if you’ve got a pile of crusty plates staring you down, grab the Fairy Liquid and we’ll do 'em together. A job shared is a job halved, or so they say. Probably someone who didn't have a cat trying to trip them up on the stairs. Speaking of which, we need to talk about Biscuit . He’s my cat, and I’m 90% sure he’s an assassin. Between the "staircase trip-wire" manoeuvres and the 4:00 AM throat-kneading, I’m living in a domestic thriller. I thought it was affection; turns out it might just be a slow-motion coup. I also get into the absolute state of my workplace because I dared to wear glasses and—heaven forbid— blue jeans . Turns out, if you change one minor detail about your appearance after twenty years, people lose their minds. It’s been a week of "Oh, new glasses?" and "Where are your black jeans, Carl?" Honestly, it’s a lot to take in when you’re just trying to get through the day without being choked out by a feline. In this episode: Chore-core: Doing the dishes together…

People in this episode

Host: Carl Guyton

Topics covered

  • domestic life
  • cats
  • workplace culture
  • personal anecdotes
  • improv comedy

Keywords

  • domestic hazards
  • cat behavior
  • workplace reactions
  • improv comedy
  • personal stories

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