Nobody Chooses Pain (With Dr Glenn & Phyllis)

About this episode

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis discuss the nature of triggers and stored pain in an insightful conversation from Costa Rica.

A trigger isn't an overreaction — it's stored pain asking to come out. From a rainforest compound in Costa Rica (howler monkeys included), Glenn and Phyllis unpack what's really happening when someone gets "triggered," why the brain can't tell the difference between a stubbed toe and an old wound, and why our instinct to calm people down is doing the opposite of helping. Phyllis shares the morning she walked away from a conversation feeling "off" — and turned back around. Glenn shares why he Oooed the stranger screaming at him through a car window. This is an honest, sometimes raw conversation about making space for pain instead of putting the lid back on the jar. In this episode: The working definition of trauma: a current emotional response based on a past event Why "just choose joy / stop choosing pain" is something we'd never say to a six-month-old The four Phrases — and when not to use the second one Why calming someone down tamps the emotion into the body instead of out of it The jar metaphor: holding sacred space vs. snapping the lid back on Phyllis crying in front of a room of strangers in Switzerland — and why it connected them A live…

People in this episode

Host: Connection Codes

Guests: Dr Glenn, Phyllis

Topics covered

• trauma
• emotional response
• pain
• triggering
• self-improvement
• communication

Keywords

• trigger
• pain
• trauma
• emotional response
• Core Emotion Wheel
• communication
• self-improvement

Mentioned in this episode

Places: Costa Rica

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