Gurometer: Teal Swan and Scott Galloway
From Decoding the Gurus by Christopher Kavanagh and Matthew Browne
March 18, 2026 · 19 min
About this episode
Matt and Chris use the Gurometer to evaluate Teal Swan and Scott Galloway based on guru traits.
In this Gurometer double bill, Matt and Chris break out the much-sought-after Gurometer™ to score Teal Swan and Scott Galloway across the 11 recurring guru traits. In one efficient episode, we compare cosmic-certified spirituality with secular man-talk (and a surprising amount of puffer-jacket merchandising). As a bonus, get ready to thrill at Matt's eternal puzzlement at his own simple binary question of 'guru-osity'. Links Gurometer scores to date The full episode is available for Patreon subscribers (51 mins). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Gurometer: Teal Swan and Scott Galloway 00:00 Back to the Gurometer: Teal and Scott 02:33 Galaxy Brain-ness 04:18 Cultishness 05:25 Anti-Establishmentarianism 08:31 Grievance Mongering 10:55 Self Aggrandisement and Narcissism 14:30 Cassandra Complex 18:03 Revolutionary Theories 21:49 Pseudo-Profound Bullshit 26:07 Conspiracy Mongering 28:50 Excessive Profiteering 36:25 Moral Grandstanding 40:33 Overall Gurometer Score 41:27 Rapid Fire Bonus Guru Points
People in this episode
Hosts: Matt, Chris
Topics covered
- guru traits
- spirituality
- secularism
- comparison
- cultural analysis
Keywords
- Gurometer
- Teal Swan
- Scott Galloway
- guru traits
- spirituality
- secular man-talk
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