What my body remembered that my brain tried to forget

What my body remembered that my brain tried to forget

From Different, Not Broken by Lauren "L2" Howard

March 11, 2026 · 29 min · Episode 46

About this episode

Lauren shares a personal story about experiencing unexpected grief while dealing with her mother's health scare.

In this episode which is sponsored by our wonderful partners at Inflow I'm sharing an update from a couple of weeks ago when my mom was sick and I called an ambulance. She was going to be fine. I knew she was going to be fine. I was calm. I was functional. I was on the phone with my business partner — who is also an ER doctor, which I have decided is a mandatory qualification for that role — while flagging down the paramedics from the front porch. And then I walked outside and completely fell apart. Not because I was scared for her. Because that was the same porch. The same hallway. The same room I'd stood in nine and a half years ago when I called an ambulance for my dad — and he did not come home. My brain knew it was 2026. My body had not received that information. This episode is about the part of grief nobody prepares you for — not the raw early days, but the decade-later ambush that catches you completely off guard on a random Tuesday night with zero warning and zero time to put the armor on. It's also about how two things can be absolutely true at once: you can be fully mid-trauma response and still be making sarcastic remarks at the paramedics. I did both. Simultaneously…

People in this episode

Host: Lauren

Topics covered

  • grief
  • trauma
  • mental health
  • family
  • coping strategies

Keywords

  • ambulance
  • memory
  • emotional response
  • sarcasm
  • coping

Sponsors

Inflow

Mentioned in this episode

Products: Inflow

Places: Eugene, Oregon

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