Hey Olivia, Why Do I Keep Having Sex Dreams About the Husband I'm Divorcing?
About this episode
The episode discusses the complexities of having sexual dreams about an ex-spouse during divorce and emphasizes the importance of self-compassion in the recovery process.
A listener wrote to me this week with a confession she was mortified to even type out: her marriage is over, she's made her decision, she doesn't even like the man her husband has become — and she keeps having sex dreams about him that leave her waking up ashamed. In this solo episode of Divorce Happens, I tell her, and every one of you sitting with the same quiet secret, exactly what I wish someone had told me: nothing is wrong with you. Attraction and respect run on two completely different systems, and being finished with a marriage doesn't mean your body got the memo on the same timeline as your mind. What follows is a close, compassionate look at why the nervous system doesn't operate on decisions — it operates on repetition. Years of a specific voice, a specific smell, the rhythm of someone next to you at night get wired in far below the part of the brain that files paperwork and calls it done. I share my own experience of feeling disgusted with myself for a night my body “missed” my ex, and how I eventually understood I wasn't grieving him, I was grieving familiarity — a distinction that changes everything about how you treat yourself during divorce recovery. This episode…
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- You Got Out. Your Kids Didn't. How to Survive the Guilt of Co-Parenting After Divorce
- Managing Triggering Communications & Reclaiming Your Power During Divorce with Family Mediator & Parenting Coordinator Laura Lorber
- Preparing Your Nervous System for Divorce: What No One Tells You Before You Walk Into That Room
- The Happenstance: The Hidden Cost of Having a Husband
- Co-Parenting Coaching After Divorce: Building the System That Keeps Your Kids Steady
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