About this episode

This episode explores the concept of real self-soothing in the context of CPTSD and emotional flooding.

You know the moment. Something lands, a tone, a silence, a left-on-read, and suddenly you're underwater. The flood comes fast and it takes the whole system with it. In this episode I want to name that moment with real precision, because most of us don't even have language for what's happening to us when abandonment hijacks the body. It isn't weakness and it isn't you being "too much." It's a response that makes complete sense once you understand it. I also want to be careful here, because "self-soothing" is a phrase that gets thrown around in ways that don't actually serve survivors like us. So much of what passes for soothing is really just management, getting yourself quiet enough to keep functioning while the wound stays untouched. That's not what I'm talking about. There's a distinction underneath this work that makes authentic, CPTSD Resolution-based self-soothing possible, and once you learn how to lead it, your relational life will change. I walk you through what that distinction is and then into the actual practice, the thing you can do when the flood hits. And I'm honest about what real self-soothing is not. It's not abandoning yourself to feel better for a minute. It's…

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