About this episode

Dr. K and Dr. Gowri Aragam discuss the cognitive load women carry and its implications on mental health and self-identity.

In this episode, Dr. K sits down with Dr. Gowri Aragam, an adult psychiatrist and host of the Sense of Self podcast, to dissect the unseen reality of women's cognitive load. They explore the exhausting mental gymnastics of emotional labor, how childhood narratives script our adult lives, and why standing up for yourself doesn't require controlling how the other person reacts. What to expect in this episode: The Invisible Burden: A breakdown of "cognitive load"—the unseen mental and emotional labor of anticipating needs, managing relationships, and running a household's social logistics (like planning kids' birthday parties). Internalized Narratives: How the stories we are told about who we are (e.g., "the responsible one") shape our reactions to events and fuel anxiety, depression, and self-doubt when our true desires conflict with that script. Love vs. Self-Sacrifice: Understanding how childhood parentification causes us to transmute love into "responsibility," ultimately leading to a toxic cycle of constant self-abandonment. The 5-Step Decompression: Dr. Aragam’s practical framework for navigating overwhelm by examining your expectations, environment, internal state, and the…

People in this episode

Host: Dr. K

Guest: Dr. Gowri Aragam

Topics covered

• cognitive load
• emotional labor
• childhood narratives
• self-advocacy
• mental health
• boundaries

Keywords

• cognitive load
• emotional labor
• mental health
• self-sacrifice
• childhood narratives
• Eldest Daughter Syndrome
• boundaries
• anxiety
• depression

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Sense of Self

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