Andrew Reed on Parenting through the Middle School Doldrums

About this episode

Andrew Reed discusses the importance of parental availability during the challenging middle school years.

What do our children need most from us in the unsteady years of middle school? First, says Head of Middle School Andy Reed, they need our availability. But making ourselves fully and honestly available runs contrary to so many modern patterns of life, from work demands and short schedules to the ever-tempting screen. In fact, Mr. Reed calls it the Mount Everest of Modern Parenting: replacing frenetic patterns with quiet, contemplative patterns for our own mental management, so that we can be available to the boy who needs us at unexpected times. Chapters: 1:35 Middle school's rough reputation 6:39 A boy in search of his role 9:30 Attention shouldn't be sourced in worry 11:44 How to trust the boy 22:54 A family culture of availability 26:27 Parenting spectrum: from buddy to manager 28:57 The golden mean: accompaniment 31:13 Quiet patterns over frenetic ones 42:28 How to deliver advice Also on the Forum: Parenting: Patience or Optimism featuring Andrew Reed There Is No Manual by Alvaro de Vicente What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about The Male Brain by Dr. Joseph Lanzilotti Educating Leaders with Thomas More featuring Dr. Stephen Smith Featured Opportunities: Parents'…

People in this episode

Guest: Andrew Reed

Topics covered

• parenting
• middle school
• availability
• mental management
• family culture

Keywords

• middle school
• parenting
• availability
• mental management
• family culture
• quiet patterns
• frenetic patterns

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: The Heights School

Books & works: There Is No Manual, What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about The Male Brain, Educating Leaders with Thomas More

More episodes of HeightsCast: Forming Men Fully Alive

• Clare Morell on A Humane Way of Life: The Research Behind Home Tech Decisions · April 30, 2026 · 56 min
• Robert Greving on an Apostolate of Courtesy: Social Graces and Civilization · April 23, 2026 · 50 min
• Dr. Matthew Spalding on Teaching the American Founding after 250 Years · April 16, 2026 · 48 min
• Colin Gleason on "Tell me the truth!" Leading Boys to Integrity · April 9, 2026 · 51 min
• Dave Maxham on Automaticity: Where 'Rote' Fits into the Liberal Arts · March 26, 2026 · 1h 5m
• Andrew Cantarutti on Classroom Habits of Attention in the Age of AI · March 12, 2026 · 1h 5m