Jacob's Blessings and Aging Out of People Pleasing

About this episode

The episode explores Jacob's deathbed blessings and the societal pressures of people pleasing in middle age.

Drawing on the book "(Un)kind: How 'Be Kind' Entrenches Sexism" by Victoria Smith and Ellen Scherr's essay "The Neuroscience of Why You Suddenly Can’t Pretend Anymore," I examine Jacob's deathbed blessings to his sons, which are impartial statements of fact with neither personal commentary nor people-pleasing softening. I see in my own life the draw of middle age to convey factual statements without personal judgment, but the societal messages that everything has to be couched in uplifting, taking-care-of-others'-feelings language or you're a bad person or a bad supervisor.

People in this episode

Host: Rabbi Nadav Caine

Topics covered

• Jacob's blessings
• aging
• people pleasing
• middle age
• societal expectations

Keywords

• Jacob's blessings
• aging
• people pleasing
• societal messages
• personal judgment

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: (Un)kind: How 'Be Kind' Entrenches Sexism, The Neuroscience of Why You Suddenly Can’t Pretend Anymore

More episodes of Judaism for the Thinking Person

• The Biblical Meaning of "Holiness" - That Isn't Yours! · May 11, 2026 · 11 min
• DO NOT Forget on Passover! In Praise of Biur Chametz · March 31, 2026 · 8 min
• Israel and Iran: Malachi, Xerses, and Liza Minnelli · March 29, 2026 · 8 min
• Why Jurgen Habermas Died Between Exodus and Leviticus · March 22, 2026 · 13 min
• The Visual Language of Norms in Judaism -- And We are the Poorer for Losing It · March 9, 2026 · 14 min
• Forced Labor was Used to Build the First Temple? · March 3, 2026 · 6 min