About this episode

Curtis and RJ discuss how to effectively communicate with teenagers when they feel misunderstood.

Your teen just said "You don't understand me" and slammed the door. Before you say anything back — watch this. In this episode, Curtis and RJ break down what teenagers actually mean when they say "you don't understand me," why your first instinct (defending yourself) makes it worse, and the exact phrase that de-escalates the moment instead of starting a fight. RJ shares a real story about his son Josh — a near-blowup over skipping a family birthday — and how one calm question completely changed the conversation. Plus: what to do when you genuinely don't understand your teen, and the "guess technique" for getting through to a kid who can't yet put their feelings into words. 🎯 In this episode: 00:00 - When your teen says "you don't understand me" 02:15 - What they're really saying underneath it 06:40 - RJ's story: Josh, the birthday party, and the door slam 12:30 - When you genuinely don't understand your teen 16:45 - The "guess technique" for kids who can't explain themselves 20:00 - The one line to use next time If you're parenting a tween or teen who's started pulling away, shutting down, or pushing back harder than usual — this episode gives you a real script, not just theory…

People in this episode

Host: Curtis Leong

Guest: RJ

Topics covered

• teen communication
• parenting
• de-escalation techniques
• family dynamics
• understanding teenagers

Keywords

• teenagers
• communication
• parenting
• family
• de-escalation
• guess technique
• emotional expression

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