About this episode

In this episode, Heike Yates and Sue Willoughby discuss how good girl rules impact women in midlife and explore the journey of self-discovery and identity transition.

You've gotten really good at being the one who adjusts—and in midlife, you start to feel the cost of it. In Episode 260, How Good Girl Rules Keep Women Feeling Stuck in Midlife/ Sue Willoughby , I sit down with Sue to explore how good girl rules in midlife quietly shape how women think, act, and show up—often through patterns such as being agreeable, accommodating, and always putting others first. These patterns can work for a long time. Until they don't. Moreover, we unpack why midlife is the exact moment these rules begin to break down. What once felt natural can start to feel heavy, misaligned, or simply no longer true. That shift can feel uncomfortable, but it also opens the door to something deeper. Sue shares her perspective on identity transitions—what happens when roles change, when old labels fall away, and when you're left asking, "Who am I now?" Instead of seeing this phase as a problem, we explore it as a powerful point of awareness and curiosity. In addition, we talk about the cost of constantly saying yes, the subtle ways women override their own needs, and how that disconnect shows up emotionally and physically. More importantly, we explore how to begin…

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