About this episode

The episode explores the complexities of sexual initiation in relationships and how couples can navigate feelings of pressure and desire.

What happens when reaching for your partner no longer feels safe? There was a period in our marriage when EJ stopped initiating sex completely. It wasn't punishment. It wasn't giving up. We made the decision together because our sexual relationship had become complicated. EJ was experiencing rejection. Tarah was experiencing pressure. And something that had once felt spontaneous and playful had become loaded with anxiety, expectation, resentment, and meaning. Stepping back helped. But years later, as our intimate relationship became healthier, something unexpected happened: Tarah wanted EJ to want her again. And EJ realized he wasn't quite sure how to reach for her anymore. In this deeply personal episode, we walk through four different seasons of our sexual relationship—from the ease of early intimacy, through the difficult high-desire/low-desire years, into adaptation, and now into what we're calling a season of rediscovery. We explore: Why sexual initiation can begin to feel like pressure instead of connection What repeated rejection can do to the person who keeps reaching What repeated expectation can do to the person experiencing lower desire Why temporarily changing who…

People in this episode

Hosts: EJ, Tarah Kerwin

Topics covered

• sexual initiation
• emotional safety
• intimacy
• relationship dynamics
• desire
• communication

Keywords

• sexual pressure
• intimacy issues
• relationship challenges
• emotional connection
• desire dynamics

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