About this episode

The episode explores why individuals are attracted to emotionally unavailable partners and how to change these patterns.

Welcome to Episode 502 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Jane Garnett, LMFT who speaks to me about how our attraction patterns develop and whether we change who we are drawn to. In this episode, Jane and I discuss why we can have so much attraction to people who are emotionally unavailable or unable to give us the secure relationship we want. We also look at how attachment styles, cultural conditioning, unmet emotional needs, and past relationship experience can influence what is exciting or desirable. Jane Garnett is an Oxford-educated speaker, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), EMDR practitioner, and author of This Time with Feeling (May 12, 2026). With nearly 20 years in private practice, her work often centers on high-functioning individuals whose lives look successful on the outside but are shaped by patterns of emotional disconnection, anxiety, or underlying dissatisfaction. As a psychotherapist, Jane helps people rewrite the beliefs that subconsciously shape their lives, recognize the scripts they inherited, listen to the body’s signals, and make choices that create actual safety and connection— helping them shift not just their…

People in this episode

Host: Dr. Nazanin Moali

Guest: Jane Garnett

Topics covered

• attraction patterns
• emotional unavailability
• attachment styles
• cultural conditioning
• relationship experience

Keywords

• attraction
• emotional unavailability
• attachment styles
• relationship patterns
• psychotherapy

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: This Time with Feeling

Places: Oxford

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