Limerence vs Love: Why We Obsess Over Emotionally Unavailable People

Limerence vs Love: Why We Obsess Over Emotionally Unavailable People

From Sexology by Dr. Nazanin Moali, Ph.D, Psychology of Sex | Couple Therapy | Sex Education

June 9, 2026 · 26 min

About this episode

This episode explores the differences between limerence and real love, focusing on the patterns of attraction to emotionally unavailable partners.

Welcome to Episode 494 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Amanda McCracken , who speaks to me about breaking the cycle of infatuation, limerence, perfectionism, and longing for emotionally unavailable love. In this episode, Amanda shares the deeply personal story behind her book When Longing Becomes Your Lover and how writing the book helped her understand the dating patterns that kept pulling her toward unavailable partners. We speak to the difference between real love and the emotional intensity that often pretends to be love, particularly when anxiety and fear and the chase become familiar aspects of attraction. Amanda McCracken is an award-winning journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, National Geographic, NPR, Elle, Outside, Self, Runner's World, ESPN, and many others. She published her first essay about longing in 2013 which led to additional articles featuring anecdotes and deep research and interviews with the BBC and Katie Couric. In this episode, you will hear: Understanding Limerence And…

People in this episode

Host: Dr. Nazanin Moali

Guest: Amanda McCracken

Topics covered

  • Limerence
  • Infatuation
  • Emotionally Unavailable Partners
  • Love vs Anxiety
  • Purity Culture
  • Social Media
  • Trust in Relationships

Keywords

  • limerence
  • love
  • emotionally unavailable
  • infatuation
  • anxiety
  • purity culture
  • social media
  • trust
  • relationships

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, National Geographic, NPR, Elle, Outside, Self, Runner's World

Books & works: When Longing Becomes Your Lover

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