121: Tonya Lester on Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself

About this episode

Tonya Lester discusses the challenges women face in expressing their needs and setting boundaries in relationships.

In this rich and honest conversation, psychotherapist and author Tonya Lester joins us to explore why so many women struggle to express their needs, articulate boundaries, and honour their truth in relationships and everyday life. Drawing from her clinical work, her book Push Back, and her own personal experiences, Tonya unpacks the deeper social conditioning that teaches women to be pleasing, agreeable, and conflict-averse — even when this silence slowly erodes their sense of self. She also sheds light on the emotional “weather-vanes” such as resentment, envy, and flattening that signal when a woman’s voice is going underground, and how following these emotional breadcrumbs can reveal what truly needs to be addressed. Together, we explore the complexity of communication: how to speak to the person who actually needs to hear your truth, how to prepare for difficult conversations, and why directness is often the kindest and clearest route forward. They discuss responsibility, self-reflection, and the courage required to ask for change — as well as the internal work needed to hold steady when someone reacts poorly. From perfectionism and its roots in anxiety, to the everyday…

People in this episode

Host: Simone Niles

Guest: Tonya Lester

Topics covered

• women's empowerment
• communication
• boundaries
• self-expression
• mental health

Keywords

• psychotherapy
• assertiveness
• self-reflection
• emotional awareness

Mentioned in this episode

Products: Push Back

Books & works: Push Back:

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