Why Some Students Apologize Excessively
About this episode
This episode explores the reasons behind excessive apologizing in students, particularly those with autism, and offers practical strategies for educators and parents to address it.
In this episode of Teaching Autism and Special Education with Nikki, we’re exploring why some students apologize constantly, even when they haven’t done anything wrong. We unpack how excessive apologizing is often not about politeness at all, but instead a nervous system safety strategy linked to anxiety, shame, masking, people pleasing, and fear of correction. For many students, especially autistic learners or those who have experienced frequent criticism or unpredictable adult reactions, “sorry” can become a way of trying to stay emotionally safe and prevent conflict before it even happens. We dive into the connection between excessive apologizing and the fawn response, as well as the impact of repeated correction and internalized shame. I also talk about how some students use “sorry” as a catch all social response when they feel uncertain, overwhelmed, or unsure of social expectations. Sometimes apologizing excessively is a form of masking, especially for students who have learned that over apologizing feels safer than risking being perceived as rude or “getting it wrong.” This episode is full of gentle, practical ways educators and parents can respond differently without…
More episodes of Teaching Autism and Special Education by Nikki
- Behavior After Trauma Triggers
- Masking in the Classroom
- Why Compliance Isn’t the Goal
- The Role of Shame in Behavior
Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Teaching Autism and Special Education by Nikki podcast page.