What Our Desires Reveal with Jay Stringer

What Our Desires Reveal with Jay Stringer

From The Allender Center Podcast by The Allender Center

May 1, 2026 · 49 min

About this episode

Jay Stringer joins Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to discuss the significance of desire and how to understand it through personal and clinical insights.

What if desire isn't something to suppress or fear, but something to honor and steward? In this two-part conversation, therapist and author Jay Stringer joins Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen to explore that very question through the lens of his new book, "Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow." From the very beginning, it was clear this topic couldn't be contained in a single episode. Dan arrived with 16 pages of notes—so settle in for a deep, expansive conversation that unfolds across the next two weeks. In Part 1, Jay traces the long personal and clinical journey behind Desire, opening up a deeper question beneath the surface of struggle and behavior: how do we learn to want well? You'll hear: Why desire often feels like a "civil war" within us How your family of origin can shape what you long for (and what you may have denied) The concept of the "provisional self"—and how it can both help and hinder you Why some of the patterns you want to escape may actually be clues to deeper healing Through personal stories, clinical insight, and thoughtful reflection, this conversation invites you to get curious about your desires—not to…

People in this episode

Hosts: Dan Allender, Rachael Clinton Chen

Guest: Jay Stringer

Topics covered

  • desire
  • psychology
  • healing
  • self-discovery
  • family influence
  • community

Keywords

  • desire
  • longings
  • psychotherapy
  • self-awareness
  • family of origin
  • healing
  • community

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow

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