How to Change Your Interpersonal Patterns

How to Change Your Interpersonal Patterns

From The Art of Accomplishment by Joe Hudson and Brett Kistler

April 10, 2026 · 32 min · Episode 158

About this episode

Joe and Brett discuss a method for achieving lasting behavior change through the Four A's framework.

In this episode, Joe and Brett break down a simple but powerful method for turning recognition into lasting behavior change. Joe walks through a real example from his own company, where he caught himself being "too helpful" in a way that was actually disempowering everyone around him, and explains how he used the Four A's to shift the pattern quickly and cleanly. Along the way, they explore why most behavior change fails, what makes this approach different, and why you have to feel a whole lot of stuff to do it right. They discuss: - The Four A's: Announce, Apologize, Ask, Act - What makes an apology upright rather than shame-driven - How asking for help breaks the isolation that holds patterns in place - Why you need five contrary actions, not just one - The difference between recognition and "should" - Where this method works, and where it doesn't

People in this episode

Hosts: Joe Hudson, Brett Kistler

Topics covered

  • behavior change
  • self-awareness
  • personal development
  • communication
  • apology

Keywords

  • behavior change
  • Four A's
  • apology
  • self-help
  • personal patterns

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