How to Handle Defensiveness

How to Handle Defensiveness

August 18, 2026 · 25 min · Season 2 · Episode 89

About this episode

This episode discusses strategies to handle defensiveness in conversations to facilitate better communication.

Defensiveness can shut down a conversation before you ever get close to resolving anything. But sometimes it’s not just what you’re saying—it’s how you’re approaching the conversation. In this episode, I’m giving you three simple ways to lower someone’s defenses without avoiding the hard conversation. We’ll talk about why words like “always” and “never” immediately put people on guard, how to use “when you, I feel” instead, why finding something you can agree on changes the tone, and how turning commands into “we” questions can keep you on the same team. Join me on Supercast for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and AMAs: https://jefferson.supercast.com/ Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson  Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook Thank you to our sponsors: AG1. Visit https://drinkag1.com/jefferson and get a FREE AG1 Flavor Sampler and a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3 + K2 in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order. Factor. Head to https://factormeals.com/jefferson50off and use code JEFFERSON50OFF to get 50% off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year. BetterHelp…

People in this episode

Host: Jefferson Fisher

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Sponsors

AG1, Factor, BetterHelp

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Civility Media

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