Episode #94: The Defensiveness You Feel in an Argument? Here's What It's Really Telling You.

Episode #94: The Defensiveness You Feel in an Argument? Here's What It's Really Telling You.

From The Luella Jonk Show by Dr. Luella Jonk, PhD

March 24, 2026 · 46 min

About this episode

Dr. Luella Jonk discusses the signals of defensiveness in arguments and how to navigate them with grace and understanding.

There's a version of conviction that looks a lot like control. And most of us have been living there without realizing it. This week I'm coming to you solo — and honestly, a little vulnerably — because something came up in my own Faith Formation group that I wasn't expecting. I got defensive. I got reactive. And somewhere in the middle of trying to defend the faith I love, I stopped actually living it. So let's talk about that. I'll walk you through: ✅ Why defensiveness is one of the most honest signals you'll ever get — if you know how to read it ✅ The difference between standing in truth and standing in your wound ✅ What St. Joseph shows us about how to hold your convictions without becoming loud, harsh, or reactive ✅ Why correcting the people you love the most is probably making things worse — not better ✅ The moment a client told me she just wanted her husband to understand her — and what she actually meant ✅ Why truth never panics — and what it means for the way you show up in conflict ✅ What living your faith quietly actually looks like — because it's not silence and it's not a doormat Whether it's your marriage, your kids, your politics, or your faith — most of us are…

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