Why Having A Child Has Ruined Your Relationship

About this episode

Leila and Kim discuss the impact of having children on relationships and share insights on navigating these challenges.

Okay, maybe not everyone's relationship with their loved one is in the pan after having a child, but anecdotally and statistically, many parents find themselves facing relationship challenges with a little one in the mix. Leila and Kim are no exceptions, and we share a very cathartic chat about how and why our marriages have changed, and what we can do about it. In this episode: We set the scene by describing our relationship foundations before having kids We compare notes on how our relationships have changed since having kids We take a look at the statistics of relationship degeneration after having children, including results from the Science Baby Parenting Survey We examine the reasons behind the changes, including a loss of protective relationship behaviours, an unequal division of the mental load, and the snowballing effect of maternal gatekeeping We describe how our loss of personal identities contributes to our dissatisfaction at this stage of life We discuss a study that suggests that marital unhappiness could just be a product of western society Finally, we talk about some of the tools and techniques for dealing with relationship issues. I'm a big fan of Philippa…

People in this episode

Host: Leila Battison

Guest: Kim

Topics covered

• relationship challenges
• parenting
• marriage changes
• mental load
• maternal gatekeeping
• personal identity
• marital unhappiness

Keywords

• relationship
• parenting
• marriage
• mental load
• maternal gatekeeping
• personal identity
• marital unhappiness

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Science Baby Parenting Survey

Books & works: The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad You Did)

More episodes of The Science Baby Podcast

• Why is teething such a pain in the mouth (and how you can help) · June 1, 2026 · 57 min
• What to Expect in the Fourth Trimester · March 9, 2026 · 50 min
• Do Babies Always Look Like Their Dads? · February 10, 2026 · 35 min
• The IVF Hangover: An Emotional Aftermath Nobody Warns You About · January 26, 2026 · 48 min
• Making a Baby with Science: An IVF Deep Dive · January 12, 2026 · 1h 5m
• Opening the Science Baby Mailbox with Babies on the Mic · December 8, 2025 · 54 min