Healthy Initiation vs. Hidden Games (Sex and the Dismissive Wife Podcast Series)

Healthy Initiation vs. Hidden Games (Sex and the Dismissive Wife Podcast Series)

From The Secure Husband by M. Bruce Abbott, M.A, CPC

July 9, 2026 · 14 min · Episode 177

About this episode

This episode discusses the differences between healthy initiation of intimacy and hidden games in marriage, emphasizing honest communication and self-respect.

Should you confidently initiate intimacy, or should you stop initiating to see if your wife ever pursues you? In this episode, I explain why those are two completely different things. A secure husband asks honestly for what he wants and accepts the answer. An anxious husband often creates a silent test, hoping his wife will somehow know the rules. That hidden game creates confusion, resentment, and unnecessary pain. We'll talk about the difference between healthy communication and covert contracts, why avoiding rejection keeps many men stuck, and why reality is always better than assumptions. You'll also learn the difference between gathering real data through honest communication and creating a secret experiment that your wife doesn't even know she's part of. This shift can change the way you think about intimacy, pursuit, and self-respect in your marriage. If this episode sounds like your story, I'd love to invite you to schedule a free 30-minute consultation. It's simply a conversation about what's happening in your marriage and how coaching might work for you. No sales pitch, no pressure, just a chance to see if it's a good fit and how I can help. #MarriageHelp #DeadBedroom…

More episodes of The Secure Husband

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the The Secure Husband podcast page.