“I Have to Stay for the Kids” (Perception of Powerlessness Series)

“I Have to Stay for the Kids” (Perception of Powerlessness Series)

From The Secure Husband by M. Bruce Abbott, M.A, CPC

May 9, 2026 · 19 min · Episode 163

About this episode

This episode explores the perception of powerlessness in unhappy marriages, particularly focusing on how staying for the kids can impact both parents and children.

Many men stay in an unhappy marriage for one reason: the kids. You may tell yourself, “I have to stay for them,” or “I can’t hurt them,” or “I’ll deal with it as long as they’re okay.” That feels responsible. It feels like love. But in this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we look at the perception of powerlessness through the lens of your children and what is really happening beneath that belief. Kids do not need you to explain what is going on in the home. They feel it. They feel tension. They feel distance. They notice when things feel off, even if nothing is said out loud. They also watch how you show up. They watch how you handle stress, how you speak, and what you tolerate. Over time, they build their idea of relationships from what they see you live every day. When you stay in a situation where you feel anxious, shut down, or disconnected, you are still teaching them something. You are showing them what it looks like to stay quiet, to avoid conflict, and to carry pain without addressing it. This is not about blaming you. It is about helping you see the full picture so you can make a decision from clarity, not fear. Many men skip an important step. They jump from “I’m…

People in this episode

Host: M. Bruce Abbott

Topics covered

  • marriage
  • parenting
  • powerlessness
  • boundaries
  • mental health

Keywords

  • unhappy marriage
  • children
  • boundaries
  • mental health
  • relationships
  • powerlessness

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