291. Hello, Stranger: Why Curiosity Beats Charisma Every Time

291. Hello, Stranger: Why Curiosity Beats Charisma Every Time

From Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques by Matt Abrahams, Think Fast Talk Smart

May 25, 2026 · 30 min

About this episode

Nick Epley discusses the barriers to social engagement and the importance of curiosity over charisma.

What keeps us from being more social? Nick Epley calls it a “mind-reading mistake.” We all think about what others think, particularly what they think about us. The problem, says Nick Epley , is that we’re almost always wrong. Epley is a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business and author of A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection . What keeps people from engaging authentically, connecting deeply, and enjoying a meaningful social life? It comes down to an error of social cognition, “A mind-reading mistake,” Epley says. “If I don't think you want to talk to me, I won't try. And I'll never find out that I'm wrong about that.” In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart , Epley and host Matt Abrahams explore why we hold ourselves back from meaningful conversation, and what happens when we don’t. From taking an interest in others to sharing more freely about ourselves, Epley shares strategies for being a little more social — and making your life considerably better as a result. To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium . Episode…

People in this episode

Host: Matt Abrahams

Guest: Nick Epley

Topics covered

  • social cognition
  • curiosity
  • communication
  • authentic engagement
  • meaningful conversation

Keywords

  • social interaction
  • mind-reading mistake
  • behavioral science
  • communication strategies
  • social life

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: University of Chicago Booth School of Business

Books & works: A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection

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