About this episode

The episode discusses gaslighting in high-conflict divorces, featuring expert insights and personal experiences.

Is what you’re experiencing actually gaslighting? In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with narcissistic abuse expert Tracy Malone — author of Divorcing Your Narcissist — to answer that question with real examples, practical tools, and language you can use right now. Tracy explains what gaslighting actually looks like in practice — not just the definition, but the tactics, the phrases, and the specific ways it shows up in high-conflict divorce. She walks through DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), explains why gaslighting targets your greatest strengths, and shares why the pattern intensifies the moment you file. Catherine also shares from her own experience — including how she kept a detailed journal for years before her divorce, and how that documentation became her anchor when her reality was being contested. IN THIS EPISODE: What gaslighting actually is — and why the word alone isn’t enough DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender (and why Tracy calls it “the love language of a narcissist”) Why gaslighting targets your greatest strengths (and Tracy’s Home Depot story) How gaslighting escalates when you file…

People in this episode

Hosts: Karen Chellew, Catherine Shanahan

Guest: Tracy Malone

Topics covered

• gaslighting
• high-conflict divorce
• narcissistic abuse
• documentation
• DARVO
• financial gaslighting

Keywords

• gaslighting
• narcissism
• divorce
• DARVO
• documentation
• high-conflict
• financial abuse

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Divorcing Your Narcissist

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