
Octogenarian Octagon
From We Saw the Devil: Crime & Political Analysis by We Saw the Devil
June 13, 2026 · 4 min
About this episode
The episode critiques a recent event that turned a national celebration into a personal birthday party for a prominent figure, highlighting the absurdity of the situation.
America was supposed to turn 250 this year. One man turned it into his own 80th birthday party instead: a cage fight on the people's lawn, a beer sponsor, party lights bright enough to blind a pilot on approach, and a twelve-thousand-dollar coin with his face on one side and We the People on the other. Lyrics: South Lawn's got a ninety-foot claw Eighty-seven-foot cage where the rose garden was Bud Light logos on every wall Monster Energy sign bigger than God Seventy-nine going on eighty Turns the whole country into his birthday party Pay-per-view, eight-ninety-nine a month While pilots scream "I can't see the runway, cunt!" They said it was America's two-fifty But it's just one old man and his UFC grift Commodores bailed, Young MC dipped Vanilla Ice is the only one left on the ship OCTOGENARIAN OCTAGON! His face on the coin, We the People on the back! OCTOGENARIAN OCTAGON! Autopen signed it, he was too busy to sign! You turned the Mall into a parking lot brawl And called it freedom, you senile asshole! OCTOGENARIAN OCTAGON! Happy birthday to you, America's gone! Ring girls in flag bikinis on Flag Day Violating federal code in the most American way "Respect the flag!" they…
People in this episode
Host: We Saw the Devil
Topics covered
- political commentary
- true crime
- celebration
- cultural critique
- media analysis
Keywords
- America 250
- cage fight
- Bud Light
- Vanilla Ice
- political satire
- OCTOGENARIAN OCTAGON
- cultural commentary
Mentioned in this episode
Organizations: Monster Energy
Books & works: OCTOGENARIAN OCTAGON
Places: North Carolina
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