65. Collette Pervette: Lessons on kink, BDSM and power dynamics from a world class dominatrix

65. Collette Pervette: Lessons on kink, BDSM and power dynamics from a world class dominatrix

From What's the Big Idea with Andrew Horn by Andrew Horn

April 23, 2026 · 1h 6m · Episode 65

About this episode

Collette Pervette shares transformative lessons on kink, BDSM, and power dynamics from her experience as a professional dominatrix.

Whether it is the boardroom, or the bedroom…the most transformative lessons can come from the most unexpected places… Colette Pervette has spent over two decades as a professional dominatrix and educator. She holds a PhD in education and her students call her an educatrix. What she shared about power, presence, and pleasure were deeply insightful. If you’ve ever wanted to go deeper on bdsm, kink and power dynamics in general; this conversation will serve as a well-rounded introduction. Here are some of my favorite themes that we explored… The dom is subconscious. The sub is self-conscious. Colette was explaining what it actually takes to hold the dominant role — and it has nothing to do with aggression or performance. It requires the complete removal of your own ego. The moment a dom becomes self-conscious, she explained, they've already lost the role. Their full awareness has to be on the other person. "If for a moment you're self-conscious, you've lost the role, because you're supposed to be conscious of the sub." Shame is where your power is hiding. Colette described how her clients often arrive holding desires they are deeply ashamed of — things they've never said out loud…

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