About this episode

This episode explores the challenges faced by fathers who feel sidelined in their families and discusses ways to repair these dynamics.

In this short solo episode, I introduce you to a figure who shows up again and again in my ROGD parent coaching work: the disenfranchised dad. He's usually a decent man — hardworking, opinionated, loves his kids — but somewhere along the way he ended up on the outside of his own family's emotional life, looking in. His wife is the emotional center. The kids bring everything to her. He drifts to the periphery and starts commenting on dinner from across the room, and the family rolls its eyes. I unpack how this pattern develops: a temperament mismatch between a Gen X dad and a more sensitive child, a marriage dynamic where mom gradually takes over the kids' inner lives, and a cultural script that has trained fathers to undervalue their own role. I look at what this does to children — including how it can show up in trans-identified boys who opt out of masculinity entirely, and in trans-identified girls carrying an unread longing for a father's protective love. Most importantly, I talk about repair. The way back isn't a grand sit-down conversation; it's hundreds of small moments of presence, side-by-side time, and putting down the running commentary. Moms can help by stepping out of…

More episodes of You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist

• 216. Creating Conditions for Desistance: A Parent's Guide to ROGD Recovery · June 1, 2026 · 38 min
• 214. Too Buddhist, Not Self-Hating Enough: Counseling Whistleblower Suzannah Alexander · May 18, 2026 · 1h 48m

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