184 - Why Do I Always Say The Wrong Thing When My Partner Is Upset?

184 - Why Do I Always Say The Wrong Thing When My Partner Is Upset?

From Anger Secrets by Alastair Duhs

May 10, 2026 · 12 min · Episode 184

About this episode

Alastair Duhs provides practical steps to improve communication with partners during emotional moments.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com . In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through four simple but powerful steps to help you say the right thing when your partner is upset - whether you tend to jump straight to fixing, go quiet or say something that somehow makes things worse. These are practical, learnable skills that work even when emotions are running high. Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair gets to the heart of why these moments go wrong so often: not because you don't care, but because your partner doesn't yet feel understood . And until they do, almost nothing you say will land well. And the good news is, that's entirely within your power to change. Key Takeaways: The problem usually isn't what you're saying. Until your partner feels understood, even the kindest or most logical words won't land. Feeling heard has to come before anything else. Minimal encouragers, a nod, a quiet "I see," steady eye contact, are small signals with a big impact. They tell your partner it's safe to keep going, and their absence is one of the most common reasons partners feel unheard. There's a real difference between questions that…

People in this episode

Host: Alastair Duhs

Topics covered

  • anger management
  • communication skills
  • relationship advice
  • emotional intelligence
  • understanding partners

Keywords

  • anger
  • communication
  • relationships
  • empathy
  • listening skills
  • emotional support
  • conflict resolution

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