Raising Twin Pathologically Demand Avoidant Boys: Socialization, Therapeutic Equalizing, and the Long Game | Ep. 155

About this episode

Pam shares her experiences parenting twin boys with Pathological Demand Avoidance, focusing on the differing progress of her children.

In this episode, I coach Pam, a mom raising fraternal twin 10-year-old boys, both PDA and autistic, who present and react quite differently from each other. We talk through the socialization questions: what gets in the way, what actually helps, and why the issue for many PDA kids is not a lack of social skills but a nervous system that cannot access those skills in the moment. I introduce the concept of therapeutic equalizing and what it can look like as a daily practice at home. We also spend time on the harder, less tactical piece: what it means to stay in the energy of non-attachment when you have tried everything and your kids still did not go to the Dungeons and Dragons group. Key Takeaways Two PDA Boys, Two Different Presentations | 00:03:06 Pam describes how her twin boys, both PDA and autistic, present quite differently in the world. One masks heavily and comes across as capable and attitude-driven. The other shows his struggle more visibly and has been out of school since grade one. I use this as a starting point for the importance of not grouping two PDA kids together even when they share the same diagnosis, and why the expectations and experiments for each may need to…

People in this episode

Host: Casey

Guest: Pam

Topics covered

• twins
• Pathological Demand Avoidance
• parenting challenges
• support strategies
• emotional well-being

Keywords

• twins
• PDA
• parenting
• support
• emotional challenges
• grief
• mindset

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