Why Lowering Demands May Not Be Enough For Your PDA Child | Ep. 171
About this episode
This episode discusses the importance of autonomy and equality for children with Pathological Demand Avoidance, rather than just lowering demands.
If you've lowered demands for your PDA child or teen but still aren't seeing much progress, this episode is for you. It explains one of the most common sticking points I hear from families: that due to the name - Pathological Demand Avoidance - parents focused on lowering demands, when what their child needs more is increased autonomy and equality. This episode is an excerpt from my free Understanding PDA Masterclass. In it I walk through the distinction between demands as a surface-level behavior and autonomy and equality as the root-level mechanism. To help make the difference clear, I describe how in a typical morning autonomy losses often accumulate before a child even gets out the door. Key Takeaways Demands Are the Surface. Autonomy Is the Root | 00:00:00 The name Pathological Demand Avoidance points toward the behavior: avoidance of demands. But if we think about PDA as a pervasive drive for autonomy, we get closer to the actual mechanism. Parents who have lowered demands and are not seeing progress are often still inadvertently signaling a loss of autonomy through expectation, energy, agenda, or position of authority, even when the demand itself has been removed. The…
More episodes of At Peace Parents Podcast
- Shame, Power, and Pathological Demand Avoidance in Children and Teens with Dr. Gillian Boudreau | Ep. 172
- Using the PDA Lens to Change Your Parenting With Pathological Demand Avoidance | Ep. 170
- Addictive Behaviors and the Nervous System in PDA: A Conversation With Jan Winhall | Ep. 169
- Understanding the Root Cause of Pathological Demand Avoidance and Equalizing Behavior | Ep. 168
- School Advocacy for Pathological Demand Avoidance with Dr. Destiny Huff | Ep. 167
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