About this episode

Ellen M. Laura shares her journey of grief and healing after becoming a widow at 19 due to the Vietnam War.

(00:00:00) The Knock That Changes Everything (00:00:33) Welcome And Ellen’s Story (00:01:33) Nineteen And Dreaming Of A Future (00:03:08) Six Weeks Married Then Goodbye (00:04:36) The Telegram And Raw Shock (00:08:31) When Grief Gets Misunderstood (00:09:53) Finding Meaning Through New Friends (00:12:14) Overdose And The Choice To Stay (00:16:20) Rejecting The Widow Identity (00:18:13) Meditation And Beliefs That Help (00:21:24) Writing The Memoir As War Returns (00:28:32) Closing Reflections And Next Steps A telegram at the door can split your life into “before” and “after.” Ellen M. Laura knows that moment intimately. At 19, she’s newly married, writing letters to her husband Brian in Vietnam, dreaming about California and a future that finally feels like it’s starting. Then Marine officers arrive with a priest, and she becomes a widow after only six weeks of marriage. The shock isn’t quiet or tidy, it’s rage, denial, numbness, and a body that can’t make sense of what’s happening. Michael Liben and Ellen talk about what comes next when the world expects you to “be strong” while also having no idea what to say to you. We dig into grief literacy, the cruel comments people make…

People in this episode

Host: Anna Jaworski

Guest: Ellen M. Laura

Topics covered

• grief
• loss
• trauma
• mental health
• identity
• war

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Vietnam

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