Bereaved But Still Me

(00:00:00) The Knock That Changes Everything (00:00:33) Welcome And Ellen’s Story (00:01:33) Nineteen And Dreaming Of A Future (00:03:08) Six Weeks Married Then Goodbye (00:04:36) The Telegram And Raw Shock (00:08:31) When Grief Gets Misunderstood (00:09:53) Finding Meaning Through New Friends (00:12:14) Overdose And The Choice To Stay (00:16:20) Rejecting The Widow Identity (00:18:13) Meditation And Beliefs That Help (00:21:24) Writing The Memoir As War Returns (00:28:32) Closing Reflections And Next Steps A telegram at the door can split your life into “before” and “after.” Ellen M. Laura knows that moment intimately. At 19, she’s newly married, writing letters to her husband Brian in Vietnam, dreaming about California and a future that finally feels like it’s starting. Then Marine officers arrive with a priest, and she becomes a widow after only six weeks of marriage. The shock isn’t quiet or tidy, it’s rage, denial, numbness, and a body that can’t make sense of what’s happening.Michael Liben and Ellen talk about what comes next when the world expects you to “be strong” while also having no idea what to say to you. We dig into grief literacy, the cruel comments people make when they’re uncomfortable, and the isolating feeling of being treated like a problem to manage instead of a person in pain. We also connect that early trauma to the way grief triggers work years later, especially when war returns to the headlines and your nervous system reacts before you can think.Ellen shares the darkest part of her story, including a suicide attempt soon after Brian’s death, and the moment she decides she has to find a deeper path. From meditation and yoga to spiritual questioning and beliefs about life continuing, she explains what helped her move through anger and finally weave grief into her identity without being defined as a victim. We also talk about why she revisited and revised her memoir, Love In The Shadow Of Saigon, and how new conflict and propaganda pushed her to speak out again.If you care about grief support, bereavement healing, trauma after sudden loss, widowhood at a young age, or the long arc of meaning-making, this conversation offers honesty and tools you can sit with. Subscribe to Bereaved But Still Me, share this with someone who needs a steady voice, and leave a review so more grieving people can find us.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

(00:00:00) Introduction to Ronda's Story (00:02:10) Understanding Pick's Disease Symptoms (00:05:04) Mother's Previous Health Battles (00:07:30) Living With Someone With Dementia (00:11:41) Anticipatory Grief and Life Lessons (00:15:25) Ocean Dream Fulfilled (00:19:12) Final Reflections and Closing Watching someone you love transform before your eyes while they're still breathing creates a unique form of grief that few discuss openly. In this deeply moving conversation, Ronda Adamo shares her family's journey through her mother's battle with Pick's disease, a rare form of frontal temporal dementia that claimed her just ten months after diagnosis.Before receiving that life-changing medical news, Ronda and her sisters faced a painful confusion as their mother's personality shifted dramatically. The godly woman they'd always known began exhibiting uncharacteristic behaviors - falling frequently, speaking in uninhibited ways, and seeming cognitively distant. Having watched their mother previously battle multiple forms of cancer, the family mistakenly attributed these changes to potential medication abuse, a misunderstanding that still weighs heavy on Ronda's heart years later."Not everything is as it seems," Ronda reflects. The diagnosis revealed their mother's brain was being altered by an accumulation of tau protein, transforming the woman they knew while her heart still beat. The family pivoted quickly from disappointment to determined support, learning what it means to grieve someone who hasn't yet died. Despite the rapid progression of the disease, they created a precious memory by fulfilling their mother's lifelong dream - walking in the ocean wearing a flowing white dress, even though winter's chill meant abandoning their original spring timeline.Ronda's story offers profound wisdom for anyone supporting a loved one through dementia: allow yourself to grieve throughout the journey, practice patience and forgiveness, and consciously choose to let positive memories burn brighter in your mind than the difficult moments. Her vulnerability reminds us that in our most painful human experiences, we can still find moments of beauty that sustain us through grief and beyond.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

(00:00:00) Carrying Grief Forward Doesn't Mean Leaving Love Behind (00:00:47) Introduction to Host and Guest (00:02:09) Mother's Cancer Diagnosis and Family Hope (00:04:16) The Hospice Experience (00:10:10) Announcement and Disclaimer (00:10:56) Sister Jackie's Struggle with Alcoholism (00:17:37) Understanding Ambiguous Loss (00:21:31) Finding Joy Amid Grief (00:27:35) Writing About Grief and Loss (00:28:48) Closing Thoughts and Resources Award-winning journalist Dina Gachman takes us on a profound journey through the landscape of loss, sharing how the deaths of her mother from cancer and sister from alcoholism transformed her understanding of grief. With remarkable candor, Dina reveals the unexpected realities of home hospice care—administering morphine every few hours with minimal professional support, experiencing moments of dark humor amidst heartbreak, and feeling the conflicting emotions of not wanting a loved one to die while being exhausted by their prolonged suffering.The conversation explores the concept of "ambiguous loss"—grief experienced not from death but from relationship changes—which Dina encountered during her sister's years-long battle with alcoholism. She articulates how this differs from the anticipatory grief she felt watching her mother's cancer progress, offering valuable insights for anyone navigating complex family relationships affected by addiction or illness.Most powerfully, Dina challenges the common misconception that grief follows five neat stages before we "move on." Instead, she describes learning to integrate grief permanently into her life: "I'm now a person forevermore that carries grief with me every single day, but I have a ton of joy." This reframing offers tremendous hope to listeners feeling overwhelmed by loss, demonstrating how we can honor our departed loved ones while still embracing happiness.Dina's book "So Sorry for Your Loss" emerged from recognizing how uncomfortable most people are discussing grief. She combines personal memoir with journalistic exploration of topics like pet loss, hospice care, and the connection between food and mourning. Her work reminds us that acknowledging grief openly doesn't diminish joy—it creates space for authentic healing and deeper connection with both the living and those we've lost.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

Fiona Kanter's journey from heart-wrenching grief to a source of hope and support for others is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. She joins us to share the painful loss of her daughter, Lee Gabriella, and how this tragedy has become a catalyst for her advocacy work in trauma and bereavement. Our conversation oscillates between poignant memories of our daughters' miraculous beginnings and the stark realities of their premature departures, highlighting how these experiences have irrevocably shaped our lives and missions.Parenting is never a straightforward endeavor, especially when raising exceptionally gifted children or spirited teenagers. Through the story of Lee, we explore the unique challenges and joys of nurturing a precocious child who excels in everything from languages to music. However, simultaneously, Fiona reveals the complexities of balancing Lee's intellectual gifts with her emotional development, as well as the profound impact Lee's short life left on those around her. These narratives underscore the delicate balance parents must strike in guiding and protecting their children as they navigate the world.Humor and giving back can be powerful tools in healing, as evidenced by the various initiatives we've embraced following personal loss. From supporting at-risk youth in Jerusalem to equine-assisted psychotherapy and aiding lone soldiers in Israel, our efforts reflect a commitment to community and resilience. Laughter, even amidst sorrow, emerges as a critical component of healing, offering moments of lightness and connection. Our episode promises insights into the transformative journey from grief to action, with the hope of inspiring others who find themselves on similar paths.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

What if the most devastating experiences of your life could become a beacon of hope for others? Autumn and Brandon Cohen join us to share their profound journey through loss and resilience, starting with the stillbirth of their son, Bastion, in March 2020, and extending to the loss of Brandon's brother in December 2022. They open up about the heart-wrenching task of helping their daughter Adeline cope with her brother's death, and how these experiences led Autumn to establish "Still Loved," an organization dedicated to honoring babies who left too soon.Autumn and Brandon navigate us through the unique challenges of grieving during the COVID-19 pandemic, revealing the emotional turmoil they faced with hospital restrictions and the cautious joy of welcoming their rainbow baby, Colby. Their story emphasizes the crucial role of communication, therapy, and mutual support, showing how they fortified their relationship amidst multiple losses. The Cohens' candid reflections highlight the importance of open dialogue, shedding light on how they transformed their grief into a source of strength and connection.Discover how Autumn and Brandon have touched the lives of over 2,000 families through "Still Loved," offering solace and support in the face of unimaginable loss. They also discuss their children's book, "In Memory of You," which has resonated with a global audience by providing comfort to those experiencing similar grief. With their dedication to keeping Bastion's memory alive through annual celebrations and meaningful symbols, the Cohens exemplify how love and community can help heal even the deepest wounds. Join us for this heartfelt conversation that underscores the universal nature of grief and the enduring strength found in unity.Helpful links:The Cohen's book: https://inmemoryofyoubook.com/The Cohen's website: https://www.still-loved.org/Instagram: stilllovedfoundationFacebook: stilllovedfoundationBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

Can a story of loss become a beacon of hope for others navigating the difficult journey of bereavement? Join us as Sheri Turner and Desiree Vaught share their poignant personal experiences with congenital heart defects and the profound impact on their lives. Sheri opens up about the loss of her firstborn, Thomas, and the challenges of raising her surviving children amid grief, including the emotional turmoil of a miscarriage. Desiree reflects on her son Logan’s brief yet meaningful life and the incredible strength she found in creating a support group for bereaved parents. Their stories highlight the resilience found in community and the healing power of shared experiences.Navigating the emotional complexities of parenting after trauma can be an arduous road. Sheri and Desiree share their reflections on the self-doubt that often accompanies difficult medical decisions for a child. They discuss how grace and patience are crucial in the grieving process and emphasize that each person's journey is uniquely their own. Together, they explore the peace that can be found in accepting past choices, despite the heartbreak. Their shared experiences remind us that compassion and understanding are vital as we make peace with our past and present decisions.After reconnecting online after more than two decades, Sheri and Desiree are now channeling their grief into a joint project: a book of essays dedicated to children lost to heart defects. This collaboration aims to break the silence surrounding grief, offering solace and connection through storytelling. Desiree shares how writing has been essential to her healing, while Sheri emphasizes the power of diverse narratives to validate others' feelings. Through this endeavor, they hope to provide a platform for parents to share their stories and find comfort in knowing they are not alone on their journey.Helpful Links:Baby Hearts Press: https://www.babyheartspress.comBecome a Spreaker Supporter: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support

Have you ever wondered how to navigate the emotional maze of caring for a parent with dementia? Join us as Karmon Hill opens her heart and shares her poignant journey of moving her mother across states and ultimately finding her a memory care facility. We discuss the delicate balance of respecting her mother’s past as an esteemed educator while confronting the painful realities of cognitive decline. Karmon’s story is a testament to the power of community support and the deep emotional resilience required in caregiving.In our conversation, Karmon emphasizes the critical steps needed to prepare for future caregiving, including the importance of legal documents like power of attorney and living revocable trusts. She offers practical advice on finding supportive healthcare professionals and resources, and shares her own strategies for maintaining family harmony amidst the challenges. Don't miss out on essential tips for remote caregiving, the value of open family dialogues, and Karmon's impactful lessons from her mother's dementia experience.Become a Spreaker Supporter: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support

Can a mother’s love shape an entire family’s destiny? Join us for a deeply moving tribute to Zipporah Liben, the resilient mother of host Michael Liben and a beacon of strength for her family. Alongside Michael are his siblings, Shirah Ozery and Rabbi Dan Liben, and guest host Anna Jaworski. They come together to share intimate stories and memories that celebrate Zipporah’s life, her unique upbringing between New York and Tel Aviv, and her vital contributions to the Zionist movement. Journey with us as we hear about Zipporah’s unwavering love for Israel, her role as a devoted mother, and the indelible impact she left on her children and grandchildren.Explore the profound and often challenging experience of anticipatory grief as the Liben family recounts their mother’s strength and resilience during the decline of their father’s health. Shirah and Dan offer heartfelt insights into their mother's renewed connection to Israel post-Six-Day War and her inspiring feminist influence. Listen to stories of Zipporah’s courage, hospitality, and her involvement in pivotal social movements. Through the laughter and tears, Michael, Shirah, and Dan honor her legacy and share how her values continue to guide and inspire their lives. This episode is a touching homage to a remarkable woman whose spirit and teachings resonate through generations.Links to “Bereaved But Still Me” Social Media and Podcast Pages:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me/id1333229173Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HugPodcastNetworkYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGPKwIU5M_YOxvtWepFR5ZwWebsite: https://www.hug-podcastnetwork.com/Become a Patron: https://www.hug-podcastnetwork.com/patreon.html ORhttps://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support