What Lies Are You Telling Yourself? Kathy Houston on Waking Up to Who You Really Are

What Lies Are You Telling Yourself? Kathy Houston on Waking Up to Who You Really Are

From Coming Out & Beyond Support for Women Questioning Their Sexuality Later in Life by Anne-Marie Zanzal 1ac1f670-c17c-11f0-806a-ef1502adef07

March 20, 2026 · 49 min · Season 7 · Episode 12

About this episode

Kathy Houston shares her journey of self-discovery and coming out at 50, discussing the challenges and insights gained along the way.

What do you do when a single moment — a woman's hand on your thigh at a work dinner — unravels 45 years of the story you thought was yours? That's exactly what happened to Kathy Houston. A West Point graduate, U.S. Army officer, 30-year retail leader, wife, and mother of two — Kathy spent decades doing everything exactly right. She married the day after she was commissioned. She left the military to raise her kids rather than deploy to Desert Storm. She built a career, a family, a life. And she had absolutely no idea she was gay. Until she did. In this rich, funny, deeply honest conversation, Anne-Marie and Kathy talk about what it really looks like to come out at 50 — the five years of doing nothing after the first spark of awareness, the open marriage, the first relationship that cracked her heart open, the lesbian gatekeepers who told her she "wasn't really gay," and the neuroscience-backed mindset work that helped her finally build the life she couldn't have imagined but absolutely deserved. Kathy is now a later-in-life coming out coach, a TEDx speaker ( What Lies Are You Telling Yourself? ), and a certified Positive Intelligence coach. She brings the same discipline that got…

People in this episode

Host: Anne-Marie Zanzal

Guest: Kathy Houston

Topics covered

  • coming out
  • sexuality
  • self-discovery
  • later in life
  • coaching
  • neuroscience

Keywords

  • coming out
  • lesbian
  • self-acceptance
  • coaching
  • midlife
  • identity
  • neuroscience

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: West Point, U.S. Army

Books & works: What Lies Are You Telling Yourself?

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