The Enneagram Isn't Who You Are (And That Changes Everything)

The Enneagram Isn't Who You Are (And That Changes Everything)

From Confessions of a Parent Coach by Ann Kaplan, Parent Coach

April 15, 2026 · 55 min · Episode 163

About this episode

This episode explores the Enneagram's role in personal growth and relationships, emphasizing its use beyond mere self-identification.

Most people use the Enneagram to figure out who they are. But what if that's not actually the point? What if it's showing you what's getting in your way? This week's episode is a little different—and honestly, one of my favorites. I sat down with my oldest son, Elijah, and we talked about the Enneagram… but not in the way you usually hear it talked about. Not "what type are you?" Not "here's how to label yourself." But what it actually does when you use it in real life—especially inside relationships, parenting, and your own growth. We talk about what it looked like for him to first encounter the Enneagram as a teenager in a really hard season… how he was mistyped… and why that still helped. And then we go deeper into the part most people miss: The Enneagram isn't here to tell you who you are. It's here to show you what you're caught in. What you'll hear in this episode: Why the Enneagram "meets you where you are" (and why that matters more than getting your type right) What mistyping actually reveals—and why it can still be useful How dysregulation makes everyone look the same (and why that changes how we see ourselves and our kids) The difference between your essential self and…

People in this episode

Host: Ann Kaplan

Guest: Elijah

Topics covered

  • Enneagram
  • self-discovery
  • parenting
  • relationships
  • personal growth

Keywords

  • Enneagram
  • parenting
  • self-worth
  • mistyping
  • empathy
  • personal growth
  • relationships

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