65: THE RAS: What is it?  Why do you need to know?

65: THE RAS: What is it? Why do you need to know?

From Conversations for Couples by Conversations for Couples

June 4, 2026 · 17 min · Episode 65

About this episode

Julie and David Bulitt discuss the Reticular Activating System and its impact on relationship perception and dynamics.

Your brain is constantly filtering what you notice - and that filter might be sabotaging your relationship. Julie and David Bulitt explore the Reticular Activating System (RAS), a neuroscience concept that explains why you might only see the negative in your partner when you're disconnected, how it blinds you to red flags when you're newly in love, and most importantly, how to retrain your brain to notice the positive. They discuss the 5:1 ratio, the danger of affairs and disconnection, and practical tools like gratitude journaling and assuming good intentions to shift your RAS into positive territory. If you've ever wondered why your perception of your partner can change so dramatically, this episode has the answers. Learn more at thebulitts.com Subscribe on YouTube: @TheBulitts Julie is not your therapist and David is not your lawyer. This podcast is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only.

People in this episode

Hosts: Julie Bulitt, David Bulitt

Topics covered

  • Reticular Activating System
  • relationship dynamics
  • perception in relationships
  • neuroscience
  • positive thinking

Keywords

  • RAS
  • relationship perception
  • gratitude journaling
  • 5:1 ratio
  • positive thinking

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: The Bulitts

More episodes of Conversations for Couples

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Conversations for Couples podcast page.