How To Not Abandon Yourself In Dating & Relationships: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To)

How To Not Abandon Yourself In Dating & Relationships: What We Learned The Hard Way (So You Don't Have To)

From Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships by Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

May 29, 2026 · 25 min

About this episode

The episode discusses the importance of maintaining one's identity and boundaries in relationships to avoid self-abandonment.

We often think being a good partner means putting someone else first—but what happens when you lose yourself in the process? In this episode, we’re unpacking self-abandonment in relationships and the subtle ways people sacrifice their needs, boundaries, and identity for the sake of keeping a connection. We’re also talking about the difference between healthy compromise and losing yourself completely, why self-sacrifice can quietly turn into resentment, and the signs you may be prioritizing a relationship over your own well-being. Ultimately, we explore how maintaining your sense of self is essential to building healthy relationships—and why the strongest connections are the ones where you don’t have to abandon yourself to make them work. Enjoy! - Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/ Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more…

People in this episode

Hosts: Yue Xu, Julie Krafchick

Topics covered

  • self-abandonment
  • relationships
  • healthy compromise
  • boundaries
  • identity
  • well-being

Keywords

  • self-abandonment
  • relationships
  • boundaries
  • healthy compromise
  • resentment
  • well-being
  • identity

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Dateable, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Simon & Schuster

Books & works: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love

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