About this episode

Vanessa Cushing discusses the intersection of sexuality, disability, and the importance of self-acceptance in experiencing pleasure.

Vanessa Cushing, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, talks about sexuality, disability, and dating. Healthy Sexuality Basics Vanessa defines healthy sexuality as centered on connection over performance, requiring safety (freedom from coercion, STIs, unwanted pregnancy) and enthusiastic consent — knowing what you want, how to ask for it, and that it's safe to say no. Disability & Sexual Erasure People with disabilities are often desexualized because others see the disability rather than the whole person. Vanessa stresses that disabled people are inherently sexual beings (unless they identify as asexual) with the same desires and needs as anyone else, and deserve to have their sexuality acknowledged and even eroticized if they choose. Asexuality Asexuality means ambivalence toward or absence of sexual desire, distinct from disability — one doesn't cause the other. Asexual people can still have romantic/sexual relationships. Vanessa emphasizes accepting oneself without shame if desire is absent. Building Sexual Self-Acceptance Vanessa encourages self-affirming beliefs like "I am a sexual being," "I deserve pleasure," and giving oneself permission to feel pleasure — regardless of…

People in this episode

Host: Kathy O'Connell

Guest: Vanessa Cushing

Topics covered

• sexuality
• disability
• self-acceptance
• desire
• healthy sexuality
• asexuality

Keywords

• sexuality
• disability
• pleasure
• self-acceptance
• asexuality
• enthusiastic consent
• healthy sexuality

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: AASECT

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• 248 - Six Actions to Take When You're Actively Dating · June 23, 2026 · 35 min
• 247 - I Need Your Help · June 16, 2026 · 13 min

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