Dating, Relationships, and Disability

Stage 4 (Active Dating) of her "5 Stages to Dating Success" framework. It's a tactical, mini-workshop style episode pulling content from her curriculum aimed at professionals in the disability field. 6 Key Skills for Active Dating Platform Engagement & Match Interaction — actively using apps or attending in-person events, following up with interested people Active Social Participation — attending events to build social skills and networks, not just to find a partner Leveraging Friend & Family Networks — asking 3 people in your life if they know potential matches; planting the seed pays off over time Reflection & Documentation — tracking what's working and what isn't, treating each experience as data Celebrating Progress & Self-Compassion — recognizing small wins; being kind to yourself when things go wrong Maintaining Authenticity — showing up as yourself, disclosing disability comfortably, requesting accommodations without apology Milestones to Watch For Consistent presence on dating apps (at least 6 months before switching) Feeling authentically represented in profiles and conversations Navigating accessibility needs confidently and clearly Recovering resiliently from rejection and disappointment Maintaining clear boundaries and personal standards Continuously learning and refining your approach Action Items Commit 30 minutes daily to dating-related activity Rotate weekly focus areas: apps, social events, network outreach Check in regularly with a small dating support network (1–3 trusted people) Review conversations — note what energizes you and prep new topics 🔗 Links Mentioned in the Podcast Kathy mentions show notes links for: Five Stages of Dating Success curriculum for professionals in the disability field A survey for feedback on an upcoming playbook covering all 5 stages (skills, milestones, and action items) And share it with anyone in your life who might have a story to tell! 💙 Check out coaching in dating and relationships with me to get the support and relationships you want. Take our Dating Success quiz. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

Action #1: Create Your Personal Belief Statement Write one belief statement for each of the 5 areas. Choose ONE to focus on weekly. Set a daily reminder to repeat it aloud 3 times—morning, midday, and before bed. Why it works: Repetition rewires neural pathways. Speaking your new belief aloud, even when it feels untrue, trains your brain to believe something different about yourself. Action #2: List Your "Power to Attract" Qualities Write 10-15 qualities that make you attractive as a partner—personality traits, skills, values, how you show up for people. Ask 2-3 trusted friends to add to your list. Keep it visible and read it when you feel defeated. Why it works: When you're not getting results, you fixate on what you lack. This forces you to identify what you already have that draws people to you—qualities you should showcase in your profile and on dates. Action #3: Have the "What I Want" Conversation Schedule a call with a trusted friend. Have them interview you: "What treatment do you deserve?" "What would excite you about someone?" "What's a dealbreaker?" Let them take notes and hold you accountable when you start settling. Why it works: Saying your standards OUT LOUD makes them real. Having a witness creates accountability and gives you someone to call you out when desperation makes you forget what you deserve. Action #4: Record and Practice Talking About Your Disability Record yourself discussing your disability as if on a date. First take: say what comes naturally. Listen back. Second take: reframe to emphasize resilience and value. Keep re-recording until it feels authentic AND confident. Why it works: People sense inauthenticity. Practicing out loud develops muscle memory for confident communication. Hearing yourself say it with pride changes how you'll show up in real moments. Action #5: Take One Bold Dating Action This Week Commit to ONE scary action: message someone interesting, ask someone out in person, update your profile, say yes to a setup, or try a new way to meet people. Do it before you feel "ready." Why it works: Action creates momentum. Hopelessness thrives in inaction. Taking action from new beliefs proves rejection won't kill you and builds confidence through evidence. Resources Five Beliefs to Successful Dating Interested in coaching with me in dating and relationships? Check this out. Take our Dating Success Quiz. Sign up for email dating tips  

Overview Marriage and family therapist Pasha Marlowe, with 32 years of experience, discusses relationships through the lens of neurodiversity and non-apparent disabilities. She reveals that 53% of Gen Z identifies as neurodivergent and/or disabled, challenging common misconceptions. Understanding Neurodivergence Neurodivergence is an identity, not a diagnosis, encompassing autism, ADHD, dyslexia, traumatic brain injury, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, Down syndrome, and mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, CPTSD, and bipolar disorder. It represents anyone diverging from society's idea of "normal." This identity rejects the notion that differences equal disorder or brokenness, instead depathologizing and destigmatizing variations while acknowledging real challenges. Key Relationship Tools Access Intimacy: Partners share their access needs, support needs, and sensory needs—a universal practice beneficial for all couples, regardless of disability identity. RESPECT Framework: Neuro-inclusive questions covering how people prefer to receive recognition, communicate, their energy levels, and sensory preferences for environments and activities. Reframing Language Marlowe encourages removing "too" from descriptions—reframing "too emotional" as passionate, "too intense" as deep, and "impulsive" as spontaneous. She advocates for strength-based, affirming language rather than high/low functioning labels. Core Challenges Communication tops the list of issues, with couples often feeling they speak different languages or interpret words and tones differently. Honoring sensory needs is crucial for nervous system regulation and preventing conflict. NeuroBelonging The most important mindset shift: belonging to yourself first. Understanding personal values, truths, and needs creates wholeness whether partnered or not, preventing the "I'll be happy when" trap. Contact Pasha here.

Dr. Robin Buckley, a clinical psychologist turned executive coach,  specializes in helping female executives apply business strategies to their personal relationships. Overcoming Negative Dating Mindsets Dr. Buckley addresses how people—especially those who've been divorced or experienced relationship failures—often believe they're "not the relationship type." She explains this self-defeating thinking comes from the amygdala (fear center) and recommends challenging these thoughts with evidence to engage the prefrontal cortex (logical brain). The Power of Personal Mission Statements A key strategy Dr. Buckley recommends is creating a personal mission statement. She encourages clients to research how companies craft mission statements, then apply that structure to identify their own values, purpose, and unique traits. Her personal example centers on kindness as her highest value—a non-negotiable in all her relationships. The guide to writing a Kick Butt Dating Profile can help with this. Dating with Disabilities When discussing women with disabilities in dating, Dr. Buckley emphasizes separating disability from identity. She encourages focusing on what challenges have created in one's personality—resilience, humor, perseverance—rather than leading with the disability itself. Authenticity and acknowledging "the elephant in the room" with humor can help move past surface-level judgments. Sexual Ableism & Intimacy Dr. Buckley addresses how people with disabilities are often not seen as sexual beings. Her advice: know your own body first through self-exploration, then clearly communicate preferences to partners. A good partner will be willing to learn and be guided. Final Advice Put yourself out there despite vulnerability. Exposure is how others learn to understand and connect. While the burden often falls on those with disabilities to educate others, they hold the power to create change. Contact: drrobinbuckley.com and various social media platforms @drrobinbuckley.

Joni Woods is the author of "Burned, Blocked, and Better Than Ever," a book about her divorce experience and re-entry into dating. She wrote the book while going through her divorce in 2016 after 15 years of marriage, exploring both the pain of separation and the unexpected joy of dating again at age 36. She is also a mother of two. The Breaking Point in Marriage Joni stayed in an unhealthy marriage for years, spending 8 of 15 years in marriage counseling. The turning point came during a therapy session when her ex-husband claimed 100% of their problems were her fault. Even after years of therapy, he believed she hadn't changed or done the work. This moment made Joni realize the relationship would never improve, and she decided to leave. Performing Peace A key concept in her book is "performing peace"—constantly putting aside her own needs to maintain household harmony. Despite being a stay-at-home mom, her love language was words of affirmation, yet her husband refused to acknowledge her efforts, believing she was simply doing what was expected. This pattern of self-sacrifice left her emotionally unfulfilled. Radical Self-Awareness Joni discovered radical self-awareness by rejecting external expectations. Having spent her life as a pastor's wife adhering to church standards, she realized she didn't have to conform to others' definitions of who she should be. A missions trip incident—where she was criticized for showing kindness to a struggling team member—sparked her decision to live authentically rather than by imposed rules. Dating After Divorce Re-entering the dating world through apps shocked Joni with people's candor and requests. However, she also found many hurting individuals using dating to cover unresolved pain. Dating taught her she had an "inner tigress"—confidence and empowerment she'd suppressed for years. She grew comfortable being single and not needing relationships, which paradoxically made her more confident in dating. Key Lessons on Relationships Joni observes that people staying too long in unhealthy relationships often jump into rebound relationships without processing their pain. The critical first step toward change is self-reflection and accountability—understanding the role you played, not from guilt, but to prevent repeating patterns. She emphasizes that rejection isn't personal; it reflects the other person's limitations, not your worth. Advice for People with Disabilities For readers with disabilities facing rejection fears, Joni advises embracing self-love first and recognizing that rejection is about another person's capacity, not your value. She encourages people to define themselves on their own terms and love all parts of themselves. Parting Message Relationships and dating should be fun and life-giving. If you're miserable and not enjoying your relationship, it's worth reconsidering. Connection should bring joy, not drain your energy. Joni's website and book information Connect with Joni on Instagram