Why Pulling Harder Against Insomnia Keeps You Stuck
About this episode
The episode discusses the metaphor of pulling against insomnia and the distinction between clean and dirty pain in relation to mental health.
Picture this. You're standing at the edge of a bottomless pit. On the other side stands a monster, huge, terrifying, impossibly strong. A rope stretches across the pit between you, and you're both pulling with everything you have. This is the Insomnia Monster. And the harder you pull, the harder it pulls back. You're terrified of falling in, so you dig in your heels and pull harder. You think: if I could just pull hard enough, the monster would tumble into the pit, my distress would vanish, and I could finally sleep. But no matter how hard you try, you can't win. You're locked in a brutal stalemate, leaving you exhausted. This metaphor captures something essential about insomnia. But to understand why it matters, we need to talk about two kinds of pain. Clean pain vs. dirty pain This idea comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and it's one of the most useful frameworks you'll ever learn for insomnia. Clean pain is the unavoidable pain of being human. The fatigue of a poor night. The sadness of disappointment. The anxiety that comes with uncertainty. These feelings are real, and they're a natural part of life. You can't eliminate them, and you don't need to. Dirty pain is…
More episodes of Former Insomniac by End Insomnia
- Your Scary 3 a.m. Thoughts Are Usually Wrong
- The 3-step practice for sitting with anxiety at 2 a.m.
- What "Accepting" Your Insomnia Actually Means (It's Not Giving Up)
- Why Caring Less About Sleep is the Key to Sleeping Well
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