Self-improvement might be making you miserable (here’s how).

About this episode

This episode discusses the potential downsides of self-improvement and how it can lead to misery rather than growth.

I mentioned these two videos: 🔗 If you don’t know what you want in 2026, start here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYLk8u8e_UA 🔗 Video on “the self-criticism cycle”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCxuFdIPqJk 💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢* → Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup ⛳️ Red Flags of Self-Improvement → Encourages isolating yourself (e.g. go ghost for 6 months, cut off everyone, etc.) → Over-focuses on “having discipline” and “taking action”, while ignoring emotional regulation, difficult days, different brains, flexibility, and letting go of self-criticism → Creates an “us vs them” dynamic that breeds division or superiority (e.g. “people like us vs people like them”) → Pushes rigid formulas, steps, or “right ways” of doing things without encouraging self-reflection or a personalised approach → Turns relationships into hierarchies (e.g. “high-value vs low-value people”) → Encourages self-rejection instead of self-acceptance → Feeds your ego or makes you feel “better than” others (e.g. “when you start healing, you won’t relate to people anymore”) → Encourages shame-based growth rather than curiosity-led growth → Promotes…

People in this episode

Host: Michelle B

Topics covered

• self-improvement
• emotional regulation
• self-acceptance
• personal growth
• mental health
• self-criticism

Keywords

• self-improvement
• emotional regulation
• self-criticism
• personal growth
• mental health
• self-acceptance
• red flags

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: MuchelleB

Books & works: If you don’t know what you want in 2026, start here, the self-criticism cycle

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