Stop Performing Your Life: Escaping the Shame Triangle with Jessica Fern & David Cooley

Stop Performing Your Life: Escaping the Shame Triangle with Jessica Fern & David Cooley

From inside OUT: Navigating the Mental, Emotional & Spiritual with Jojo by Jojo Cottle

June 10, 2026 · 37 min · Episode 74

About this episode

Jojo Cottle discusses the Shame Triangle with trauma therapists Jessica Fern and David Cooley, exploring patterns of self-criticism and shame.

You've done the therapy. Read the books. Cried it out at a retreat. So why does that critical voice in your head keep winning? This week, trauma therapist Jessica Fern (bestselling author of Polysecure) and David Cooley (creator of Restorative Relationship Conversations) join me to expose the Shame Triangle: the hidden pattern keeping you stuck in self criticism, shame, and escape. And here's the wild part. They've been married, divorced, and now coparent and write books together. They don't ...

People in this episode

Host: Jojo Cottle

Guests: Jessica Fern, David Cooley

Topics covered

  • shame
  • self criticism
  • trauma therapy
  • co-parenting
  • relationships

Keywords

  • Shame Triangle
  • self criticism
  • trauma therapy
  • co-parenting
  • relationships
  • Jessica Fern
  • David Cooley

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Polysecure

More episodes of inside OUT: Navigating the Mental, Emotional & Spiritual with Jojo

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the inside OUT: Navigating the Mental, Emotional & Spiritual with Jojo podcast page.