Feeling Like You’re the Problem in an Anxious–Avoidant Relationship
From LET’S TALK ATTACHMENTS by Jessica Da Silva, LMFT
February 24, 2026 · 13 min
About this episode
This episode explores the challenges faced by anxious attachers in relationships with avoidants and offers insights on creating healthier connections.
In this episode, we unpack why anxious attachers often feel like they’re “too much” in relationships — especially when paired with avoidants. I break down how this dynamic creates a distorted sense of responsibility, why you’re not actually the problem, and how unmet needs drive anxious expression. We’ll also cover how to find balance, when it’s time to walk away, and what both anxious and avoidant partners can do to create healthier, more secure connection. Work with Jessica 1-1 HERE.
People in this episode
Host: Jessica Da Silva
Topics covered
- anxious attachment
- avoidant attachment
- relationship dynamics
- emotional responsibility
- healthy connections
- unmet needs
Keywords
- anxious attachment
- avoidant attachment
- relationship problems
- emotional needs
- secure connection
- balance in relationships
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- Why Anxious + Avoidant Relationships Can Work · June 5, 2026 · 17 min
- The Paradox of Avoidant Healing: Learning to Lean Into Intimacy Despite the Fear · May 12, 2026 · 12 min
- Building Connection From Stability, Not Emotional Need · April 21, 2026 · 16 min
- The Avoidant Experience: Love, Numbness & Inner Conflict With Bilnita Armstead · March 29, 2026 · 37 min
- The Attachment Rollercoaster: How to Feel Without Losing Control · March 20, 2026 · 16 min
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