EP134 Recovery Through Relationship With Pam Lanhart

EP134 Recovery Through Relationship With Pam Lanhart

From Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction by Heather Ross

May 11, 2026 · 45 min · Season 3 · Episode 134

About this episode

Pam Lanhart shares her family's journey of recovery through relationship rather than tough love in the context of substance use.

Series: The Families We Don't Hear About: Recovery Through Relationship For decades, families have been told that love, support, and staying connected to a child struggling with substance use is “enabling” and that there’s only one way to help. We don’t hear enough about families that are going against that narrative and choosing recovery through relationship instead. This is the first episode in an ongoing series meant to elevate those voices. In this episode, Pam Lanhart shares what happened when her family stopped following the tough love narrative and started loving well instead. Pam opens up about her own childhood trauma, the fear and chaos that took over when her son Jake began struggling with substances, and the painful ways their family initially responded. She shares how education, nervous system regulation, CRAFT, DBT skills, and a shift toward curiosity and connection transformed the way they loved their son and themselves. This conversation explores: • why behaviors make sense in context • how trauma impacts parenting responses • the hidden damage caused by labels like “addict,” “codependent,” and “enabler” • why punitive approaches often push people deeper into…

People in this episode

Host: Heather Ross

Guest: Pam Lanhart

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