About this episode

Zach discusses relational health and responsibility in marriage with Arlina and Bob Allen, who share their experiences from recovery and their journey as a couple.

Zach sits down with Arlina and Bob Allen, a couple who met in a recovery community over 30 years ago and have been building their marriage with the same tools ever since. What starts as a surprisingly revealing Game of Thrones conversation (they watch it on repeat as a bedtime ritual, and yes, they have strong opinions about House of the Dragon) turns into a grounded, real-world look at how recovery principles translate directly into relational health. Arlina walks through a go-to story from early in their relationship: a tipping dispute at a dinner with friends that spiraled into a full-blown money fight. She breaks down the four-column resentment inventory she learned in recovery, showing how she moved from "it's clearly his fault" to "oh no, I'm the jerk." Bob talks about the role his men's group played as a sounding board, helping him sort through what was his business and what wasn't before bringing anything back to Arlina. Together, they describe a pattern of going to their separate corners, doing individual work, and coming back ready to own their part. The conversation shifts into their current season of life: approaching the empty nest, figuring out what retirement looks…

People in this episode

Host: Zach

Guests: Arlina Allen, Bob Allen

Topics covered

• responsibility
• romance
• recovery principles
• relational health
• self-care
• empty nest
• retirement

Keywords

• marriage
• responsibility
• recovery
• self-care
• relationships
• communication
• conflict resolution

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Game of Thrones, House of the Dragon

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