About this episode

Shaun interviews Jay Barbanel about his journey as an adoptee and the complexities of identity and belonging in the context of adoption.

In this conversation, Shaun sits down with adoptee and author Jay Barbanel to explore the complexities of identity, belonging, and healing through adoption. Jay shares his unique story—from being adopted out of Costa Rica with his brother, to the traumatic separation that followed, to his later-life journey of rediscovering his roots. Through therapy, self-reflection, and a courageous search for answers, Jay reconnects with his biological family and ultimately redefines what “home” means. This episode offers a nuanced look at adoption as both beautiful and painful, and encourages listeners to embrace the full spectrum of the adoptee experience. Key Themes & Takeaways Adoption is both beautiful and painful It doesn’t have to be one or the other—both can exist together in a healthy, meaningful way. Identity is always evolving Jay describes identity as a “revolving door”—something that changes as we choose what to hold onto. The importance of owning your story Every adoptee has a right to their full story—even the hard parts. Reunion is powerful, but emotionally complex Jay’s search for his biological family was life-changing, but also overwhelming and deeply intense. Healing…

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