242. Are Calming Strategies Making Anxiety Worse?

About this episode

Dr. Caroline Buzanko discusses the impact of calming strategies on child anxiety and the importance of distress tolerance skills.

When a child is melting down, panicking, or refusing to do something hard, should we calm them down or help them stay with the discomfort? In this episode of Overpowering Emotions , Dr. Caroline breaks down distress tolerance skills and the ways they are often misunderstood. She explains the difference between true emotional overwhelm and emotional avoidance, why timing matters more than the strategy itself, and how well-meaning adults accidentally reinforce anxiety by helping kids escape discomfort too quickly. Dr. Caroline walks through common DBT distress tolerance skills including ACCEPTS, self-soothe, IMPROVE, half-smile, grounding, breathing, and creative outlets. She shares when these tools can support nervous system regulation and when they can quietly fuel avoidance patterns instead. This episode is packed with practical examples for supporting anxious kids, emotionally reactive teens, and neurodivergent learners without turning coping skills into escape rituals. You’ll learn: How to tell the difference between overwhelm and avoidance Why some calming strategies backfire How to help kids “ride the wave” of emotions What emotional endurance actually looks like How to keep…

People in this episode

Host: Dr. Caroline Buzanko

Topics covered

• calming strategies
• anxiety
• distress tolerance
• emotional support
• resilience
• DBT skills

Keywords

• anxiety management
• emotional overwhelm
• emotional avoidance
• DBT distress tolerance
• nervous system regulation
• coping skills

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