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Ditch the Punishments and Rewards and STILL Get Cooperation [Fan Favorite]
From Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments by Michelle Kenney, M. Ed
June 24, 2025 · 13 min · Season 5 · Episode 430
About this episode
In this episode, Michelle Kenney explores how to achieve cooperation from children without using punishments or rewards by focusing on connection and understanding their behavior.
Do you ever feel like you're constantly battling your kids, trying to "make" them do what you want? Are you tired of using punishments or rewards, but unsure how else to get them to listen? If you're longing for a deeper connection with your child and a more peaceful home without resorting to control, you're in the right place. Today, I’m exploring a crucial distinction: the difference between boundaries and limits, and consequences and punishments. Many of us were taught that discipline means punishment, but "discipline" actually means "to teach." I want to show you that you can have clear limits and boundaries in your home without enforcing them through external motivators like rewards or consequences. Instead of asking, "How do I make my kids do X, Y, or Z?" we need to ask, "Why aren't they choosing to do it?" We'll explore how to approach your child's behavior with curiosity, considering disconnection, unrealistic demands, or their natural desire for autonomy. When children feel good about their relationship with you and the home environment, they are much more likely to follow limits because they want to, not because they fear punishment. If you're ready to redefine…
Topics covered
- discipline
- parenting
- cooperation
- boundaries
- limits
Keywords
- peaceful home
- connection
- autonomy
- behavior
- teaching
Mentioned in this episode
Books & works: UNPUNISHED, Plugged in Parenting
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