The Unthinkable: A Child’s View of Coercive Control with David Challen

About this episode

David Challen shares his childhood experiences of growing up in a coercively controlling family, offering insights into the impact of such environments on children.

In this episode of Perfect Prey , I’m joined by David Challen , author of The Unthinkable , who shares his experience growing up as a child inside a coercively controlling family system. David offers a rare and powerful perspective on coercive control through the eyes of a child—long before there was language to describe abuse, and long before systems were willing to see it. This conversation explores how coercive control creates an atmosphere of fear, vigilance, humiliation, and emotional captivity within families, even when there is no visible violence. David reflects on the early intuition that something was wrong, the “rot in the house” that others could not see, and how children normalize danger in order to survive. Together, we examine the intergenerational harm caused by coercive control and why children are not passive witnesses, but co-victims. What we cover What coercive control looks and feels like through the eyes of a child How children sense danger, imbalance, and domination long before abuse is named The normalization of mockery, humiliation, fear, and emotional subservience within families Why coercive control is not “hidden abuse,” but a trajectory of escalating…

People in this episode

Host: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola

Guest: David Challen

Topics covered

• coercive control
• childhood experience
• emotional captivity
• intergenerational harm
• psychological domination
• victim retaliation

Keywords

• coercive control
• child abuse
• emotional subservience
• fear in families
• psychological harm
• victimization
• intergenerational trauma

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: The Unthinkable

More episodes of Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast

• The Hidden Impact of Trauma Across a Lifetime with Dr. Ann Burgess · June 5, 2026 · 36 min
• Why Traumatized Children Are Often Misunderstood · May 22, 2026 · 26 min
• Why Survivors Must Be Heard to Heal with Dr. Judith Lewis Herman · May 8, 2026 · 47 min
• Greyson’s Choice: Ali Kessler’s Mission to Protect Children · April 24, 2026 · 35 min
• Children Are Not Witnesses: The Truth About Coercive Control with Emma Katz · April 10, 2026 · 43 min
• Jane Doe No More: Story of Survival and Accountability with Donna Palomba · March 27, 2026 · 37 min